my little girls

I can't believe it's been a year. It feels longer, but at the same time, it doesn't feel all that long. Twelve months and three days ago, I had a regular appointment to see my OB/GYN. I mentioned that I was contracting fairly often (7 in within 1 hour) and that's when my doctor checked me and said I was 2cm dilated. He said I was to get myself admitted right away. I was scared, shocked, worried.

For three days I was administered medication to stop my contraction, but they didn't really go away. Until finally, we've all decided it was enough and had the c-section. In a short time, I had 2 babies. Sadly I was only able to get a short glimpse before my little angels were taken away to the NICU. Unforunately, it took a little bit under 48 hours before I even got to hold my daughters. It was the saddest, darkest, loneliest days of my life. I hemorraged pretty badly after I gave birth, and it left me unable to recline for even just 30 minutes at a time.

Katie and Jojo spent 10 days in the NICU. When they came home was one of the happiest days of my life. To see my then 2 year old son finally meet his sisters for the first time was amazing. Big brother took to them well and from day one, they were HIS babies.

Katie, you were the bigger one. This helped Mommy and Daddy recognize which is which that we didn't need to resort to painting a toe nail or anything of the sort. You were always looking for Jojo and looking into her eyes waiting for her eyes to connect with yours and then you gave her the biggest smile. It was the kind of smile that says, "oh, there you are. I'm happy now because I know you're there." When you cried, you cry like you're the saddest person in the world! Your eyes just looked sorrowful!

Daddy and I thought you would be the shy one, the one who wouldn't venture from us and the one who would hide behind me when strangers try and talk to you. But we're having second thoughts now. When you started crawling, you crawled over, under, in between whatever makeshift barricade I had. And once you've done it, you know where and how to do it again! You're a clever adventurer, much like you brother.

You're very sensitive. You have sensitive eyes. Looking into your eyes is trully looking into your soul.

Jojo, you're my itty bitty one. I worried a lot about you when you were in the NICU. The nurses would tell me and Daddy how you wouldn't eat very much because in the middle of your bottle, you just forget to suck! But you're catching up fast now. And you're quite the bossy little thing. At only weeks old, your cry was so different from Katie's. While listening to the baby monitor, I could always tell if it was you crying. Because of this, Daddy and I thought you would be the adventurer, highly independent little girl. But you've changed lately. While Katie explores, you're just happy to stay were you are and play. If I am around you, you always want to climb on me.

Lately, to our amusement, you've become quite the drama queen. You hold your hands to your face whenever you cry! But you also have the most devilish smile. You smile as if you're trying to stop yourself. It starts from one corner of you mouth, but somehow it never makes it to the other end as if you enjoy making others guess whether you find them amusing or not! I think you will have boys wrapped around your little finger.

Katie and Jojo, this past year has not been easy on you and all of us, but the two of you and your brother makes everything worth it and worth doing all over again. Burying my nose in either of your necks make everything right in the world. Happy Birthday.

Love,
Mama